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KiritoSAO

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KiritoSAO

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  • Number of visits : 143
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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KiritoSAO's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Mobility

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KiritoSAO's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32160) - you deserved it (8184)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11779) - you deserved it (35442)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22238) - you deserved it (34494)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (4553) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45516) - you deserved it (5937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49347) - you deserved it (13941)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26470) - you deserved it (43508)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48676) - you deserved it (5860)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31588) - you deserved it (3239)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML

#20467750
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26598) - you deserved it (15695)

On 01/19/2013 at 11:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46446) - you deserved it (7937)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33873) - you deserved it (6900)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39604) - you deserved it (4959)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)



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