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KiritoSAO

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KiritoSAO

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  • Number of visits : 170
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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KiritoSAO's favorite FMLs

Taday I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé . He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's bered with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on mah arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, an I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on mah forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15511) - you deserved it (59857)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today,hile going down on grlfriend , I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm , she tore out a clump of hair , causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said , "Ah shut it , ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54014) - you deserved it (12376)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today , I Took Mah Grlfriend To Eat Out At A Restaurant!! We Chatted Fir An Hour , And It All Seemed To Be Going Well , Until She Told Me That She Wanted To Break Up!! Waiting Fir The Bill And Driving Her Home Was The Most Painful Time Of Mah Life!! Fat FML

#20577445
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41940) - you deserved it (3324)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up an was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't therehen I sat down. FML

#20576240
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I Was Trying Out My First Vibrator. Soon Enough, My 12-year-old Sister Opened My Door, Walked In, And Saw Me Naked From The Waist Down. She Laughed, Called Me A Virgin, And Left. FML

#20574621
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52226) - you deserved it (17724)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well an good until he turned to me an said, "You know, yur orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." big fat FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (7946)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

TODAY , I GAVE MY GRLFRIEND AN ORGASM 4 THE FRST TIME. SHE'S A SCREAMER. HER DOG MUST HAVE THOUGHT I WAS ATTACKING HER , BECAUSE HE IMMEDIATELY CUMMD OVER AND STARTD SAVAGING ME. BIG FAT FML

#20562430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50350) - you deserved it (5743)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY, I CAME HOME FROM A RELAXING, PEACEFUL VACATION. WHEN I GOT HOME MY 4-YEAR-OLD SON WAS FREE-BALLING WITH POOP ALL OVER HIS BODY, SCREAMING "BOB THE BUILDER WILL KICK YUR ASS." THE BABY SITTER IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND AND I CAN'T GET HIM TO STOP SAYING, "I LOVE ASS." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42164) - you deserved it (5453)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, mah cat laarnd how to opan doors. Evar sinca than sha's baan running up to mah room, opaning mah door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, mah grlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51223) - you deserved it (12115)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today , I Tossd Half A Sausage To A Dog Sitting Beside A Park Bench. It Wasn't Until He Lungd Fir It And Draggd The Man Beside Him Off Of The Bench That I Realizd It Was A Seieng Eye Dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30226) - you deserved it (23878)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" fat FML

#20548943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48508) - you deserved it (14442)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today..!! my grandma gave me a sex talk!! Not the usual one..!! either!! This one was about blowjobs!! I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to leren if they want a well-behaved husband..!! but that it's an ( acqured taste )!! Gag me!! FML

#20545240
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43781) - you deserved it (5374)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)



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