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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Killah_Jay

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Killah_Jay
  • Town/Country : Duluth, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 April 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 434
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Killah_Jay's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (9450)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

#17285530 (309)

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (5002)

On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963 (361)

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (2269)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (5505)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448 (318)

I agree, your life sucks (30978) - you deserved it (2905)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (5936)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (14260) - you deserved it (31942)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (4560)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (26431) - you deserved it (2539)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (11610)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (8626) - you deserved it (29351)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (25231) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (13866) - you deserved it (2886)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

#6700407 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (2732) - you deserved it (14194)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by jlowder2 - United States (Illinois)