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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Kid011

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Kid011
  • Town/Country : Naptown, Usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 February 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 809
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Kid011 : N/A

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Kid011's favorite FMLs

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (4868) - you deserved it (27516)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

#13144525 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (18668) - you deserved it (4552)

On 09/21/2010 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

#6569414 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (7753) - you deserved it (21565)

On 12/02/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML

#4682415 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (40580) - you deserved it (2734)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by ihatemylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (39696) - you deserved it (5103)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

#4256905 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (43295) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

#4231879 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (9068) - you deserved it (35171)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML

#3112345 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (11076) - you deserved it (46671)

On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

#2960234 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (31136) - you deserved it (1709)

On 06/17/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by creepedouthostess (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (41991) - you deserved it (4237)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

#2693631 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (45612) - you deserved it (17487)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)