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About Kibaruto : I stalk profiles. Judge your standing by that.
I educate by violating.
I won't tell you anything more.
Well alright, since you're so cute....
People I hold in my heart:
Don't take me too seriously, I didn't get to play as a child so I'm quite eccentric, especially when first talking to you.
Things I like:
Long walks on the beach
Breaking Bad raped me emotionally
Cry of Fear / Afraid of Monsters
I'm obsessive compulsive and have personality dissociation. There're some more issues I'm working through. It helps to make myself over-confident.
I end up loving everybody and everything.
If you need anything you have my ear, citizen.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML
Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML
Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML
Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Thursday 10 April 2014