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Keyganator's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a mild allergic reaction from eating pasta salad. I told my mom that I might be allergic to the parsley, since it was the only ingredient that I don't eat often. She made me eat a sprig of it to "make sure." Now my face is covered in hives. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 10:17pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by drunkinriot / 07/03/2011 at 7:04pm / United States / Health
by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
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