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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48199) - you deserved it (8640)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (74623) - you deserved it (4460)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14362) - you deserved it (46836)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35699) - you deserved it (10807)
On 08/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by peepeepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61168) - you deserved it (4233)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41771) - you deserved it (1788)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was running on a track above a basketball court. I noticed several cute guys playing a pick-up game, so I tried to run my hardest. Not paying attention, I didn't hear when they warned me about the ball flying towards me. It hit me in the head, I then ran into a wall and face-planted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13202) - you deserved it (26163)
On 05/08/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50032) - you deserved it (10455)
On 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was driving home, it was 80 degrees out. Making a rare attempt to be eco-friendly, I turned off the A/C and lowered the windows. A bee then flew in through the window, hit my cheek, and stung me. That's what I get for attempting to be eco-friendly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34380) - you deserved it (7624)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39733) - you deserved it (9803)
On 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by weliveanddie14 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (168643) - you deserved it (8589)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86442) - you deserved it (2794)
On 04/15/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by I_Hate_Cars - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (98765)
On 03/20/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42638) - you deserved it (500376)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
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