About Ketchup_Castle : *
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61704) - you deserved it (6369)
On 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by alone_forever (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15907) - you deserved it (41240)
On 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by brows (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66540) - you deserved it (6328)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:28pm - kids - by E (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126079) - you deserved it (3728)
On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47366) - you deserved it (5183)
On 02/27/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by stpry of my life (woman) - United States (California)
Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19652) - you deserved it (31712)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:13am - work - by Kasizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44001) - you deserved it (7000)
On 02/19/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by Skido (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45949) - you deserved it (2629)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31277) - you deserved it (4273)
On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (3866)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by atterz123 (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (228875) - you deserved it (22732)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States
Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39807) - you deserved it (2992)
Today, I'm 19, I'm at uni, I've never been kissed and the only person I have had a proper conversation with in the past week is my Mum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (3545)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by geewhiz - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17542) - you deserved it (2034)
On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17488) - you deserved it (1446)
On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
