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Ketchup_Castle's favorite FMLs
by Julia / 08/02/2010 at 5:50am / New Zealand (Otago) / Work
Today, I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML
by Unwanted / 06/10/2010 at 8:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
by badsinger / 06/04/2010 at 5:38am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Love
by love_today / 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML
by THANKS4theINFO / 05/23/2010 at 7:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Lonely / 03/11/2010 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Love
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2010 at 7:54am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML
by kennarama / 02/16/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML
by KiwiBlam / 02/07/2010 at 4:19am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML
Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML
by Candace / 01/26/2010 at 10:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
by newniece / 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous