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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17510) - you deserved it (2750)
On 02/05/2010 at 3:23am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (5759)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3566) - you deserved it (26152)
On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31806) - you deserved it (3031)
On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (2878)
On 01/26/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Candace - United States
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23736) - you deserved it (6538)
On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States
Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9767) - you deserved it (19150)
On 01/21/2010 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged. I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother. Still on speaker, I heard her run upstairs and pass the good news on. My stepmother responded with 'Cery who?', followed by 'So what? I can't stand her'. I'm Cery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (1442)
On 01/16/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by ThatCery (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6176) - you deserved it (13504)
On 01/12/2010 at 2:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (2467)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (1957)
On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7598) - you deserved it (27894)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4765) - you deserved it (25742)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (1920)
On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12891) - you deserved it (15983)
On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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