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Kerruza

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Kerruza

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1337
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Kerruza : I'm a weird ol' bean...

Kerruza's page activity

Visits<b>llamasandalpacas</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 7:02pm<b>9lashes</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 8:28pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 5:19pm<b>CoolBreezeKing</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 5:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 6:12pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 6:49am<b>Xxblackice</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 1:49pm<b>hawright</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 11:46am

Kerruza's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Kerruza's badges

Kerruza's favorite FMLs

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46301) - you deserved it (2894)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65850) - you deserved it (12651)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68730) - you deserved it (17884)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

#20590768
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69323) - you deserved it (3366)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML

#20588155
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (44937)

On 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by reallythough - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (19344)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

#20581032
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (7188) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm - misc - by La Guigne - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (37741)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14777) - you deserved it (57940)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46313) - you deserved it (7935)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15139) - you deserved it (56456)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38351) - you deserved it (2673)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML

#20565847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32432) - you deserved it (2457)

On 03/29/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by Appelflap (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)



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