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Keno

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Keno

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4493
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keno's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:24pm<b>hopiee</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 6:09pm

Keno's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Keno's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool. When I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

#937193
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51694) - you deserved it (19666)

On 04/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by imbx (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML

#932548
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159857) - you deserved it (10330)

On 04/12/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

#929724
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72909) - you deserved it (12661)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

#927368
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88163) - you deserved it (5673)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104132) - you deserved it (5115)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

#927038
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69496) - you deserved it (9518)

On 04/12/2009 at 1:55pm - animals - by anbrown6 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134864) - you deserved it (7702)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my birthday. My grandma gave me a hug and a check after wishing me a happy birthday and walked away giggling. I was excited because it was the only gift I had gotten all day. Ten minutes later, I realized that it was actually just my tax refund. FML

#922323
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51326) - you deserved it (3319)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:21am - misc - by suckmeoff (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was waiting in the lobby of a modeling agency for my interview to be a potential model and I was next in line. They called "NEXT!" and I walked in with a smile on my face. They stared at my face for a moment and then started yelling "NEXT". FML

#922187
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56523) - you deserved it (10680)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by taptheturtle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting using my laptop, I was also eating a bag of starbursts. They bag slid off the bed, I went to catch them and in the process my knee hit my laptop which flew off the bed onto the wooden floor, and shattered. I broke my $2,500 laptop to save 11 starbursts from falling. FML

#922153
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (55341)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:50am - misc - by MYLIFESUX (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

#921168
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66592) - you deserved it (12434)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:44am - kids - by cxcrktkt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML

#920023
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16734) - you deserved it (45948)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

#918397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77852) - you deserved it (20087)

On 04/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18491) - you deserved it (86675)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181321) - you deserved it (9524)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)



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