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Keno

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Keno

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2650
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keno's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:24pm<b>hopiee</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 6:09pm

Keno's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Keno's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122344) - you deserved it (7048)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard an electric saw cutting through something outside my condo. I presumed it was a complex maintenance guy working on something. It was a thief using an angle grinder to cut off my bicycle's U-lock. FML

#991872
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53086) - you deserved it (5428)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

#989435
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (48660)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17pm - misc - by Insensitive (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commerical. FML

#984041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42115) - you deserved it (22471)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94968) - you deserved it (38909)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

#973952
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30428) - you deserved it (50186)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86107) - you deserved it (8491)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

#963044
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43392) - you deserved it (28826)

On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60834) - you deserved it (6887)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

#952639
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38451) - you deserved it (53060)

On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

#946038
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101421) - you deserved it (8754)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:07am - intimacy - by bodyelectric (woman) - United States

Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML

#945655
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69360) - you deserved it (12829)

On 04/13/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by traveller (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

#945188
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110186) - you deserved it (16338)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States

Today, I was on a small plane. A flight attendant told us that there was too much weight in the front of the plane and they needed 3 people to move to the back of the plane. I volunteer and walk to the back. She says, "Okay, we're going to need 1 more person." FML

#942565
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64453) - you deserved it (10534)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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