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Keno

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Keno

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  • Number of visits : 2845
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keno's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:24pm<b>hopiee</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 6:09pm

Keno's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Keno's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

#1429978
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61708) - you deserved it (5173)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

#1429892
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18346) - you deserved it (52720)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:49pm - love - by ugh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15397) - you deserved it (56067)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML

#1427815
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40514) - you deserved it (7586)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML

#1399688
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60438) - you deserved it (6142)

On 04/27/2009 at 5:50pm - animals - by Tragic (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to meet my grandparents. They live on the 27th floor. Alone in the elevator we started making out. Turns out that theres a camera in the elevator, connected to every apartment. My grandma asked me how it was. FML

#1394629
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40045) - you deserved it (17729)

On 04/27/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by fmylifechelsea (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24060) - you deserved it (121102)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

#1375627
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47276) - you deserved it (13272)

On 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by ahhnotoy (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML

#1368223
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54580) - you deserved it (2626)

On 04/26/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chippuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (83701)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115616) - you deserved it (4546)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

#1187593
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52979) - you deserved it (8637)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35551) - you deserved it (92906)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML

#1183165
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42141) - you deserved it (4921)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by xxbobsan - United States (Connecticut)



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