Keno

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Keno

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4904
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keno's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:24pm<b>hopiee</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 6:09pm

Keno's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Keno's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

by MadMax / 07/16/2009 at 10:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm / Italy (Toscana) / Health

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 1:22pm / United States / Animals

Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

by ummPORQUE / 05/07/2009 at 12:17pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML

by Kels20 / 05/07/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

by TrulyYours / 05/07/2009 at 8:39am / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I picked up my passport, as my previous one was damaged in a car crash. As the teller warns me that a pattern of damaged passports will result in longer processing periods, she spills her coffee - all over my new passport. I'm supposed to go overseas in a month. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 12:29am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Holidays

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

by fmal / 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I left my lights on in my car. I realized it at lunch, made sure to turn the lights off and tried to start it. The battery was dead, and I called my dad to jump it before I got back from my game. I come back from my game and the lights were on. He left the lights on after the jump. FML

by stupidlights / 05/06/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had the reverse lights on. I thought to myself "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML

by jezusflowers / 05/06/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

by schmoodles / 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

by FakeID / 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous