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Kayokku

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Kayokku
  • Town/Country : Florida, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 February 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1424
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Kayokku : • I'm a proud member of the rainbow community. If you have a problem with that, suck it. :)

• I love cats. I have four of them, named Rusty, Stripey, Charlie and Edgar. They're my babies ^^

• I have an obsession with the Pokemon videogames and fan-made comics. My favorite Pokemon include Umbreon, Luxray, and Arcanine.

• I am knowledgeable in animal and biological sciences-- and have a habit of correcting people and sounding arrogant while doing so. If I do this, don't be offended. I mean you no disrespect.

Kayokku's last visitors

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Kayokku's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kayokku's favorite FMLs

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (67997)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
97 comments

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33876) - you deserved it (18245)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (17024)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (7374)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28903) - you deserved it (1773)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (17166)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9243) - you deserved it (69954)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my five year old niece decided to wake me up by shoving blasting earphones in my ears. Five hours later I can still hear Justin Bieber shrieking "Baby". FML

#16800264
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (4780)

On 06/22/2011 at 2:37pm - kids - by my ears are dying - United States

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

#16787044
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33895) - you deserved it (2378)

On 06/21/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (55302)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (2254)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (7318)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

#16303976
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29816) - you deserved it (17342)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)



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