Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Kayokku : • I'm a proud member of the rainbow community. If you have a problem with that, suck it. :)
• I love cats. I have four of them, named Rusty, Stripey, Charlie and Edgar. They're my babies ^^
• I have an obsession with the Pokemon videogames and fan-made comics. My favorite Pokemon include Umbreon, Luxray, and Arcanine.
• I am knowledgeable in animal and biological sciences-- and have a habit of correcting people and sounding arrogant while doing so. If I do this, don't be offended. I mean you no disrespect.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Friday 17 October 2014