Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Kayokku : • I'm a proud member of the rainbow community. If you have a problem with that, suck it. :)
• I love cats. I have four of them, named Rusty, Stripey, Charlie and Edgar. They're my babies ^^
• I have an obsession with the Pokemon videogames and fan-made comics. My favorite Pokemon include Umbreon, Luxray, and Arcanine.
• I am knowledgeable in animal and biological sciences-- and have a habit of correcting people and sounding arrogant while doing so. If I do this, don't be offended. I mean you no disrespect.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
Friday 2 October 2015