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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Karen

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Karen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8029
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Karen's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938 (414)

I agree, your life sucks (69332) - you deserved it (7483)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

#2093858 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (71267)

On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

#1980136 (407)

I agree, your life sucks (48355) - you deserved it (37871)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

#1881658 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (8096) - you deserved it (40436)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

#1654917 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (60268)

On 05/05/2009 at 3:43am - love - by sunboy52 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682 (325)

I agree, your life sucks (168603) - you deserved it (8585)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

#1475433 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (58830) - you deserved it (6736)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by ohmyx3 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (13538) - you deserved it (37118)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML

#1021410 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (52977) - you deserved it (6215)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:38pm - love - by suckstobeme (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (77390) - you deserved it (28874)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (14449) - you deserved it (70168)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40698) - you deserved it (114318)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked, I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband, disoriented from sleeping, came running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML

#779437 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (58149) - you deserved it (5265)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by sodaxpopxhiccups (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

#778324 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (53786) - you deserved it (6231)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by herANDi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167953) - you deserved it (51056)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)