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Kalspike

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Kalspike
  • Town/Country : Dumfries, Scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 November 1985 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 936
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Kalspike : Im awesome :D

Kalspike's last visitors

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Kalspike's FML badges

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Kalspike's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19778) - you deserved it (3399)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15021) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15442) - you deserved it (923)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48133) - you deserved it (1980)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12907) - you deserved it (2115)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16946) - you deserved it (4049)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16374) - you deserved it (3098)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (3637)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22336) - you deserved it (2858)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML

#18913466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18716) - you deserved it (3154)

On 01/26/2012 at 1:23am - love - by sad life (woman) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (2592)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

#18905780
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15328) - you deserved it (11877)

On 01/25/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Paicked (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17622) - you deserved it (5027)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML

#18895827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8803) - you deserved it (18761)

On 01/24/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by Dani - Australia



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