Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Kalspike

Offline (yesterday at 5:11am) | Search for a member

Kalspike

3Fucked!

Kalspike
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 November 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4713
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Kalspike : Im awesome :D

Kalspike's page activity

Visits<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:14pm<b>iPixelCheese</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:34pm<b>_Tater_Tot_</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:48pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:20pm<b>dakotasan</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:52am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 9:24pm<b>user51020</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:45pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 8:40pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:49pm<b>haleyturner6</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 4:34pm<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 8:05am<b>shleydncan</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:38am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:27am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 2:40am<b>abccool2</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 2:13pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 1:00am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 8:38pm

Fucked!<b>_Tater_Tot_</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 8:48pm<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:13pm<b>dakotasan</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:52pm

Kalspike's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Kalspike's badges

Kalspike's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (21638)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38557) - you deserved it (4189)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37680) - you deserved it (3441)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (3843)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44485) - you deserved it (7533)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36729) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (11679)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, after politely reminding my husband to turn the bathroom light off after he's done, he did so. While I was on the toilet. FML

#21258522
57 comments

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40520) - you deserved it (4428)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39194) - you deserved it (3777)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

#21076286
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34994) - you deserved it (7994)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49210) - you deserved it (6922)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: