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Kalspike's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML
by peak4u / 10/09/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love
by thanks babe / 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML
by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by deathstar3548 / 09/22/2014 at 6:58am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
by rightlessonwrong / 09/15/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 10:39am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/03/2014 at 11:30am / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML
by AlwaysAwkward / 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today, while on a ride at a water park, someone stole my thongs. The ground is hot enough to burn…