Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Kallian : I am an early childhood educator currently working with 3 to 5 year olds in a long day care centre. I am NOT a babysitter! Through years of study I have become qualified to educate children at a very impressionable time in their lives, when 90% of their brain development occurs. I believe in teaching our children to recognize and do what is right, instead of blindly obeying orders. Hopefully our newest generation won't turn out as dumb as the last...
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML
Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
Friday 6 December 2013