Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3207
  • Number of comments : 267
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 111 posted

About Kallian : I am an early childhood educator currently working with 3 to 5 year olds in a long day care centre. I am NOT a babysitter! Through years of study I have become qualified to educate children at a very impressionable time in their lives, when 90% of their brain development occurs. I believe in teaching our children to recognize and do what is right, instead of blindly obeying orders. Hopefully our newest generation won't turn out as dumb as the last...

Kallian's page activity

Visits<b>VONTEENTEEN</b> - 21 hours ago<b>clumsylobster</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:02am<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:34pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:27pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 10:37pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:58am<b>Sausageburger2</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 1:39pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 11:09am<b>ClearlyImFunny</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:17pm<b>adrian1910</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:02am<b>hemiol</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 3:04pm<b>henrylikestreats</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:27am<b>sophielock</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 6:47pm<b>llalala</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:35am<b>saf99me</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:34pm<b>monkeyxD</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:51am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:04am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 11:46am

Liked!<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 4:38am

Kallian's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Kallian's badges

Kallian's favorite FMLs

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (2390)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (3374)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31969) - you deserved it (6607)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (4510)

On 10/07/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28623) - you deserved it (5060)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (9664)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: