Kallian

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Offline (the 11/24/2016 at 8:11am)

Kallian

58Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5257
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 133 posted

About Kallian : I am an early childhood educator currently working with 3 to 5 year olds in a long day care centre. I am NOT a babysitter! Through years of study I have become qualified to educate children at a very impressionable time in their lives, when 90% of their brain development occurs. I believe in teaching our children to recognize and do what is right, instead of blindly obeying orders. Hopefully our newest generation won't turn out as dumb as the last...

Kallian's page activity

Visits<b>meheem</b> - 3 hours ago<b>fragmen52</b> - 16 hours ago<b>crazybird525</b> - 16 hours ago<b>lordpooba</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Magnit0</b> - yesterday at 2:21am<b>Aspen_Grace33</b> - yesterday at 1:01am<b>minutepoet</b> - yesterday at 10:48pm<b>necklacethief</b> - yesterday at 9:03pm<b>Johnsonbap</b> - yesterday at 4:35pm<b>Jenny246844</b> - yesterday at 2:36pm<b>backyardhulk</b> - yesterday at 12:56pm<b>MasterTron</b> - yesterday at 12:44pm<b>LeahBeeMee</b> - yesterday at 12:37pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - yesterday at 8:31am<b>Draysor</b> - yesterday at 7:56am<b>shanekicksass</b> - yesterday at 6:16am<b>royr7395</b> - yesterday at 5:05am<b>mizzfrizzle</b> - the 12/09/2016 at 3:44am

Fucked!<b>MasterTron</b> - yesterday at 6:45pm<b>LeahBeeMee</b> - yesterday at 6:37pm<b>win2see</b> - the 12/09/2016 at 3:59am<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 12/09/2016 at 12:30am<b>Tattooed_momster</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 8:14pm<b>BigDave469</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 8:06pm<b>Uniquestar7</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 6:43pm<b>aRandomAccount</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 2:23pm<b>vaas90</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 2:09pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 12:54pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 7:06am<b>Noah98</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 10:20pm<b>whosthedeadone</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 10:56am<b>seba7236</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:37pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 7:23pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 3:54pm<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:21am<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:57pm

Kallian's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Kallian's badges

Kallian's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

by Bug5992 / 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

by jkmartinjk / 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML

by babyblues / 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

by Z / 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm / Australia / Love

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

by Z / 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm / Australia / Love

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Love

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

by Agirl / 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

by Agirl / 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous