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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (2807)
On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States
Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42559) - you deserved it (2619)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (7585)
On 04/23/2011 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Grrrr! - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19329) - you deserved it (8303)
On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (3639)
On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (4163)
On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18619) - you deserved it (2342)
On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17391) - you deserved it (2522)
On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9273) - you deserved it (16907)
On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8676) - you deserved it (15707)
On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (2774)
On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU". It really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18560) - you deserved it (8169)
On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 5 year old lactose intolerant daughter decided to have some chocolate. The result: me cleaning the bathroom walls at 3am, finishing at 4:30am, and then start cleaning again at 5am when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23024) - you deserved it (3095)
On 11/18/2009 at 3:43am - kids - by Widespread (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (2043)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6589) - you deserved it (26878)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Sunday 12 May 2013
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