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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39506) - you deserved it (4876)
On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26886) - you deserved it (5219)
On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20101) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (5790)
On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom
Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12601) - you deserved it (1654)
On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16313) - you deserved it (2511)
On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17950) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16565) - you deserved it (1146)
On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17440) - you deserved it (3147)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15288) - you deserved it (1928)
On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24592) - you deserved it (1688)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15749) - you deserved it (4060)
On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12766) - you deserved it (4848)
On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17574) - you deserved it (5511)
On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (2351)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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