About KTBulldog : Arizona
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Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37023) - you deserved it (5704)
On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50699) - you deserved it (8924)
On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by jack - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40950) - you deserved it (50806)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27283) - you deserved it (58203)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59339) - you deserved it (3294)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50192) - you deserved it (3970)
On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (4614)
On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54849) - you deserved it (4109)
On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43013) - you deserved it (3325)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55645) - you deserved it (11978)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (7613)
On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37403) - you deserved it (2635)
On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States
Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31093) - you deserved it (3854)
On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41485) - you deserved it (2537)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43799) - you deserved it (5894)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 17 June 2013
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