KELSEYJOHNSON23

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KELSEYJOHNSON23

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 August 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1393
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About KELSEYJOHNSON23 : Only ever use the FML app,

I can't stand people on here that take others comments too seriously.

KELSEYJOHNSON23's page activity

Visits<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 2:29am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:32am<b>mehibud</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 11:25am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 10:36pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 7:23am<b>chris_mates</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:07am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:52am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:29am<b>ostark</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:04am<b>Furby94</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:37pm<b>fuzzy101606</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 2:02am<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:41am<b>Bweav1</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 1:27pm<b>indy1</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 10:29am<b>waterski123</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 11:21pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 9:13am<b>brandonborgie</b> - the 11/24/2011 at 7:55am

Fucked!<b>mehibud</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 5:25pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 4:36am<b>chris_mates</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:07pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:52am

KELSEYJOHNSON23's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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KELSEYJOHNSON23's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

by overflowing / 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

by Johntheladdo / 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

by Acesup111 / 03/02/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave that flashes 'enjoy your meal' when it finishes cooking something. FML

by bymyself / 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

by theish / 02/04/2011 at 9:08am / Intimacy

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

by XxMe123xx / 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm / Intimacy

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

by drew_ar85 / 03/20/2010 at 12:30pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy