KBurns207

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KBurns207

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 August 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4119
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About KBurns207 : I'm a pizza delivery driver. I produce music in my free time. I'm the one holding the camera in my photo. It was taken at Versailles in France and it was bright as hell out. My dreams are to one day be a respected producer and I take online production classes when I can. I love music, dirtbikes, and laughing. I'm an extremely honest person (Some might even say blunt). I've got a very rare disease called Recurrent Respiratory Papillomatosis and have had 40+ surgeries to remove tumors since the age of 15. I have an amazing girlfriend who's with me every step of the way. The experience has changed my outlook on life significantly. Live life to the fullest. You may not have as much time as you think.

KBurns207's page activity

Visits<b>figcurzyez</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:27am<b>odod777</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 11:42am<b>Cbjhockeyfan</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:18pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 4:01pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:59pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:46am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:53pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:52pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 5:37pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:26pm<b>nina0917</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:18am<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:43pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:06pm<b>WannabeeWinnee</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:18am<b>unlucky_lucy</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:02pm<b>tiguur</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:29pm<b>phamdrake</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:44pm<b>farleytb42</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:42am

Fucked!<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:46am

KBurns207's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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KBurns207's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 4:34am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

by mcullen21 / 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

by potpurri_needed / 06/10/2009 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

by Oblivious / 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm / Kuwait / Love

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

by fastfingers409 / 04/22/2009 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I ordered take out, and paid with a credit card. The cute cashier gave me the receipt to sign, and under 'tip' I gave a couple of dollars. I realized that I had given too much, crossed it out, and changed it. Unaware she was watching, She then responded, "Did you just lower the tip by $1?" FML

by imanidiot / 04/19/2009 at 1:03am / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Montana) / Transportation

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

by tehhotness / 03/27/2009 at 10:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately, she has a hood piercing that got caught on my tongue ring, and neither of us could get them apart. We had to call my mom in to solve the problem. FML

by Truan / 03/25/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.