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Justine94_x

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Justine94_x
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2426
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Justine94_x : Hi.

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Justine94_x's favorite FMLs

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18716) - you deserved it (30459)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#15062819
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27161) - you deserved it (5098)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6863) - you deserved it (93412)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

#14796617
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16879) - you deserved it (36427)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7871) - you deserved it (100007)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7871) - you deserved it (100007)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

#14718221
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (11053)

On 01/26/2011 at 8:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if my ass looked big in my new jeans. He looked, and then started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie". FML

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

#14482649
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18893) - you deserved it (5995)

On 01/06/2011 at 3:58am - health - by nuerrotticc -

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37322) - you deserved it (9473)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37322) - you deserved it (9473)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

#14186917
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8210) - you deserved it (22376)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by wtfson -

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (4358)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML

#13937046
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (2019)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



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