Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Justine94_x

Online | Search for a member

Justine94_x

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4298
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Justine94_x : Hi.

Justine94_x's page activity

Visits<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:12pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 1:48am<b>Murilirum</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 2:30pm<b>Decepticus</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:04am<b>Tr33Cat</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:12am<b>Firewielder</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:14pm<b>dimerneckel</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:36am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:00pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:20pm<b>tzemmy</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>3051628</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:25am<b>Jenra</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:50pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:01am<b>assm1234</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:29pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:55am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 7:34am<b>Bilbo_Swaggins</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 10:24pm

Justine94_x's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Justine94_x's badges

Justine94_x's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56316) - you deserved it (5566)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33351) - you deserved it (16817)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (5448)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (11493)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
585 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21976) - you deserved it (241772)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15378) - you deserved it (49269)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (2797)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

#17664853
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27354) - you deserved it (11170)

On 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm - love - by ddll (man) - Singapore

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (13149)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35765) - you deserved it (3457)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (5448)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36935) - you deserved it (3464)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (14525)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (14525)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: