Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Justine94_x

Online | Search for a member

Justine94_x

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3612
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Justine94_x : Hi.

Justine94_x's page activity

Visits<b>Decepticus</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:04am<b>Tr33Cat</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:12am<b>Firewielder</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:14pm<b>dimerneckel</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:36am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:00pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:20pm<b>tzemmy</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>3051628</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:25am<b>Jenra</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:50pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:01am<b>assm1234</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:29pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:55am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 7:34am<b>Bilbo_Swaggins</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Dance2516</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 10:51am<b>jonathanedwards</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 6:46pm<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 5:10pm

Justine94_x's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Justine94_x's badges

Justine94_x's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (236118)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15344) - you deserved it (49205)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

#17664853
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (11158)

On 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm - love - by ddll (man) - Singapore

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22429) - you deserved it (13136)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36927) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31398) - you deserved it (5443)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43453) - you deserved it (14512)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43453) - you deserved it (14512)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39533) - you deserved it (13229)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (75092)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37567) - you deserved it (9713)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9998) - you deserved it (71424)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: