Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Justine94_x

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Justine94_x

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4323
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Justine94_x : Hi.

Justine94_x's page activity

Visits<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:12pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 1:48am<b>Murilirum</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 2:30pm<b>Decepticus</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:04am<b>Tr33Cat</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:12am<b>Firewielder</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:14pm<b>dimerneckel</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:36am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:00pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:20pm<b>tzemmy</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>3051628</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:25am<b>Jenra</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:50pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:01am<b>assm1234</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:29pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:55am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 7:34am<b>Bilbo_Swaggins</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 10:24pm

Justine94_x's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Justine94_x's badges

Justine94_x's favorite FMLs

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21888) - you deserved it (53897)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

#21113059
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37951) - you deserved it (4817)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by stupidcunt (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36476) - you deserved it (2659)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35179) - you deserved it (5231)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49862) - you deserved it (6246)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56697) - you deserved it (5697)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50558) - you deserved it (26258)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

#20981691
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44270) - you deserved it (7920)

On 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47456) - you deserved it (4113)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51543) - you deserved it (6309)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68392) - you deserved it (9015)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (65272)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: