Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Justine94_x

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

Justine94_x

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3926
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Justine94_x : Hi.

Justine94_x's page activity

Visits<b>Decepticus</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:04am<b>Tr33Cat</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:12am<b>Firewielder</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:14pm<b>dimerneckel</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:36am<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 8:00pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:20pm<b>tzemmy</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>3051628</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:25am<b>Jenra</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:50pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 3:01am<b>assm1234</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:29pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:55am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 7:34am<b>Bilbo_Swaggins</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Dance2516</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 10:51am<b>jonathanedwards</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 6:46pm<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 5:10pm

Justine94_x's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Justine94_x's badges

Justine94_x's favorite FMLs

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36448) - you deserved it (2655)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35152) - you deserved it (5230)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49817) - you deserved it (6244)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56674) - you deserved it (5695)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50509) - you deserved it (26245)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

#20981691
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44228) - you deserved it (7916)

On 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47429) - you deserved it (4112)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51500) - you deserved it (6308)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68319) - you deserved it (9010)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28484) - you deserved it (65238)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62360) - you deserved it (22202)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28357) - you deserved it (50505)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: