About Justine94_x : Hi.
I like pizza and anime. And cats.
About Justine94_x : Hi.
Justine94_x's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Justine94_x's favorite FMLs
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by HomicidalPegasus / 05/25/2014 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
by wtf / 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love
by fuck florida / 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML
by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
by stupidcunt / 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm / Japan (Hyogo) / Kids
- Today, I got a strange email from a women asking how I knew the guy I was seeing. I told him I met… Today, my teacher was talking about what significant thing today was with our class and I let out a… Today, we got our cat back from the vet, $1000 later and we find out his diarrhea that smelled like…