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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (93866) - you deserved it (4304)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11455) - you deserved it (36194)
On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46066) - you deserved it (6570)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49434) - you deserved it (3101)
On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (4788)
On 06/25/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by smallmediumatlrg (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36493) - you deserved it (1804)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65721) - you deserved it (2324)
On 06/25/2009 at 4:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9097) - you deserved it (47447)
On 06/24/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by Whoops (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when hes drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (3590)
On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by MoxyR12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (136998) - you deserved it (19607)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my daughter used pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35023) - you deserved it (3357)
On 06/23/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by FastFlight (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13848) - you deserved it (29354)
On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (17535)
On 06/22/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by MrZhang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said hey beautiful so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on friday night. I smiled and said "yes why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (10252)
On 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32687) - you deserved it (11475)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
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