Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Julianneisasmurf

Search for a member

Julianneisasmurf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 August 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 883
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Julianneisasmurf : Hi. My name is Julianne. (I'm the bluehaired one). My life is actually not that fucked, but sometimes life does scrue me over... :3

Julianneisasmurf's page activity

Visits<b>Canadiens</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:08am<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:04pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:44am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:17pm<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:43am<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 4:25pm<b>Bobbi_que_sauce</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:41pm<b>princesslacey</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:54pm<b>rockyandrigby</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 11:01pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 10:53am<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 4:00pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:02am<b>ScottVining</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 4:26pm<b>jubejube239</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:01am<b>sophiurr</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 8:42am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 4:01am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 7:28am<b>pinkleah</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 3:36am

Julianneisasmurf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Julianneisasmurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35356) - you deserved it (2518)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you deserved it (41639)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

#7239167
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (6832)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

#6662033
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (2678)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18362) - you deserved it (3595)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48747) - you deserved it (20734)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66394) - you deserved it (14777)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12621) - you deserved it (67778)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63042) - you deserved it (40850)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60389) - you deserved it (8254)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69492) - you deserved it (8047)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
923 comments

I agree, your life sucks (344019) - you deserved it (38470)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16989) - you deserved it (42126)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: