Julianneisasmurf

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Julianneisasmurf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 August 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1138
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Julianneisasmurf : Hi. My name is Julianne. (I'm the bluehaired one). My life is actually not that fucked, but sometimes life does scrue me over... :3

Julianneisasmurf's page activity

Visits<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:58pm<b>xViiVD</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 11:07pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:52pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 6:25am<b>AmIReallyRenee</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 6:06am<b>mitchellkirk2</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:56am<b>MdMan2</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:55pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:10am<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:48am<b>nana_star</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:20am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:24am<b>PoThePoop</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 8:15am<b>PITSB</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:17am<b>G00N3R</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:52am<b>stingray112</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 10:48am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:40pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:44pm

Julianneisasmurf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Julianneisasmurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

by disasterbutton / 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

by Ben / 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 7:10am / Norway (Rogaland) / Work

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

by Dirtyswede / 06/17/2009 at 10:57am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

by hdat / 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

by crosseyed / 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:16am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

by snotface / 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

by legit / 03/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous