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Julianneisasmurf

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Julianneisasmurf
  • Town/Country : sortland, norway
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 August 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 840
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Julianneisasmurf : Hi. My name is Julianne. (I'm the bluehaired one). My life is actually not that fucked, but sometimes life does scrue me over... :3

Julianneisasmurf's last visitors

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Julianneisasmurf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Julianneisasmurf's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (1864)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (39855)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

#7239167
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30356) - you deserved it (6453)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

#6662033
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (2539)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16351) - you deserved it (3326)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44203) - you deserved it (19227)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64667) - you deserved it (14312)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11006) - you deserved it (64002)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML

#1449885
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60419) - you deserved it (39591)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58298) - you deserved it (7984)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64662) - you deserved it (7511)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328912) - you deserved it (35694)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16199) - you deserved it (40873)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)



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