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Josh_balla_27

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Josh_balla_27

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  • Number of visits : 43
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Josh_balla_27's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 8:18pm

Josh_balla_27's FML badges

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Josh_balla_27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46241) - you deserved it (6544)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45742) - you deserved it (3621)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

#21000427
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (7746)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44086) - you deserved it (19771)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43889) - you deserved it (3958)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38412) - you deserved it (3261)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41747) - you deserved it (4052)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32334) - you deserved it (9862)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27310) - you deserved it (10330)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33116) - you deserved it (2335)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

#13235647
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (4212)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

#12144895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23246) - you deserved it (12142)

On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

#8741180
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22461) - you deserved it (7396)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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