About Jordansername : The chick you see lip synching to her iPod in public.
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Jordansername's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by sleeplessinrichmond / 09/15/2013 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Ohio) / Geek
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML
by Well, crap / 06/18/2013 at 11:02am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Love
Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays
by cheeseburglar_9000 / 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…