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Jordansername

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Jordansername

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 150
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Jordansername : The chick you see lip synching to her iPod in public.

Jordansername's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:12am<b>liamoneil93</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 4:20am<b>Danny5146</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 6:36pm<b>chelsss3</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 11:24am<b>nicolekristine96</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 10:26pm

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Jordansername's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54742) - you deserved it (27524)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38767) - you deserved it (2576)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22153) - you deserved it (88953)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56132) - you deserved it (9167)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47355) - you deserved it (19323)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57326) - you deserved it (8221)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56377) - you deserved it (17929)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML

#20682342
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36449) - you deserved it (4803)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27141) - you deserved it (39298)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40928) - you deserved it (5309)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31318) - you deserved it (2450)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37121) - you deserved it (2849)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38437) - you deserved it (9259)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12840) - you deserved it (40356)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29258) - you deserved it (27250)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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