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Jonah171

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Jonah171
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1203
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jonah171 : I am Jonah.

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Jonah171's favorite FMLs

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (3384)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

#18318800
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (1727)

On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

#18198042
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23574) - you deserved it (1633)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23841) - you deserved it (3809)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

#18126270
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (3212)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (32243)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21834) - you deserved it (1272)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

#18014852
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6639) - you deserved it (58617)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28381) - you deserved it (1747)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

#17981925
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (1461)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by francesa_loca - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

#17981114
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14018) - you deserved it (1650)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:22am - love - by Jessy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML

#17959088
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14073) - you deserved it (17882)

On 10/11/2011 at 10:51am - intimacy - by CC (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

#17950170
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (1901)

On 10/10/2011 at 4:29am - health - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

#17948133
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39314) - you deserved it (2512)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (2263)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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