Jonah171

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Offline (the 11/27/2014 at 10:15pm)

Jonah171

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9397
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jonah171 : I am Jonah.

Jonah171's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>StormKicker</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:21am<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 5:12pm<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:05pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:35pm<b>stupidityisme</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:02am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:39pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 6:58am<b>aherne</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:42am<b>PimpdaddyCJT</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:06pm<b>zsxwrsd</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:32pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:55am<b>ghiman</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:20am<b>SydneyGrey</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:34pm<b>joe502</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:48pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:48pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:22pm<b>admitmylife</b> - the 11/04/2012 at 12:45pm

Jonah171's FML badges

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Jonah171's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

by needmorelocks / 07/03/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

by MeanMother / 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

by :( / 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML

by pon-3 / 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML

by wenchfucker / 06/18/2012 at 3:49pm / France (Lorraine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

by ouch / 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

by idontgetit / 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

by MySummerinEurope / 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

by DaveAlmighty / 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Kids