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Jonah171

Offline (the 06/30/2014 at 4:16am) | Search for a member

Jonah171

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3780
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jonah171 : I am Jonah.

Jonah171's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:39pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 6:58am<b>aherne</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:42am<b>PimpdaddyCJT</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:06pm<b>zsxwrsd</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:32pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:55am<b>ghiman</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:20am<b>SydneyGrey</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:34pm<b>joe502</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:48pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:48pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:22pm<b>admitmylife</b> - the 11/04/2012 at 12:45pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/07/2011 at 11:55pm<b>erpaderp</b> - the 10/09/2011 at 7:34pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b>PSQ91</b> - the 05/30/2011 at 5:00am<b>22jrdn55</b> - the 05/12/2011 at 6:17pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 9:27am

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Jonah171's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (2989)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33685) - you deserved it (2262)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6207) - you deserved it (80463)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
497 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8894) - you deserved it (44979)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML

#19830019
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (1879)

On 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm - kids - by pon-3 (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML

#19807859
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24100) - you deserved it (1761)

On 06/18/2012 at 3:49pm - misc - by wenchfucker (man) - France (Lorraine)

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8375) - you deserved it (104827)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10710) - you deserved it (26533)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

#19679809
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8211) - you deserved it (24966)

On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17372) - you deserved it (29742)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13156) - you deserved it (41358)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30579) - you deserved it (1916)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

#19564735
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29224) - you deserved it (2044)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



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