Jonah171

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Offline (the 11/27/2014 at 10:15pm)

Jonah171

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9583
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jonah171 : I am Jonah.

Jonah171's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>StormKicker</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:21am<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 5:12pm<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:05pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:35pm<b>stupidityisme</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:02am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:39pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 6:58am<b>aherne</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:42am<b>PimpdaddyCJT</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:06pm<b>zsxwrsd</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:32pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:55am<b>ghiman</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:20am<b>SydneyGrey</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:34pm<b>joe502</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:48pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:48pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:22pm<b>admitmylife</b> - the 11/04/2012 at 12:45pm

Jonah171's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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Jonah171's favorite FMLs

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

by Hank / 05/14/2009 at 10:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

by XxespoxX / 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

by breathalizard / 05/02/2009 at 2:21am / United States (North Dakota) / Health

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML

by .... / 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my husband of three years told me he only proposed to me because his favorite football team was winning and he had been drunk. I had our second child three days ago. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 9:44am / United States / Love

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

by AJShow80 / 04/13/2009 at 4:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

by Fitz / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

by Fitz / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

by LonnyLonnikins / 04/09/2009 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy