About Jonah171 : I am Jonah.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12163) - you deserved it (198797)
On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. After circling around for 20 minutes, I finally saw a shaded spot in the uncovered parking lot area under a tree. It turns out, I parked under a coconut tree. I could tell from the coconut planted into my hood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (8267)
On 09/13/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by superjstorm (man) - Philippines (Nueva Ecija)
Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9728) - you deserved it (53691)
On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136865) - you deserved it (10975)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41068) - you deserved it (5063)
On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked. Then said "You know he can't swim right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5399) - you deserved it (44882)
On 09/04/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by babydoll13211 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got shoved into a wall and pickpocketed. I was already in a bad mood from being dumped, so I chased the guy, tackled him so hard he was knocked out. As I retrieved my things, the police arrested me and apparently the robber was the cop's son, and didn't believe my statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52210) - you deserved it (2206)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:14am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6903) - you deserved it (26005)
On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53801) - you deserved it (2261)
On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12085) - you deserved it (42217)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7672) - you deserved it (95235)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45901) - you deserved it (15272)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the dry cleaner next to my house went up in flames. I went outside to look at the fire, as I looked on in amazement I realized I had dropped off all of my work clothes at the cleaners two days before. I was supposed to pick them up today but was too lazy to walk the 10 feet to the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9157) - you deserved it (53624)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58635) - you deserved it (21535)
On 08/10/2009 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by gorgeousrenthead (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43608) - you deserved it (2283)
On 08/08/2009 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
