Jonah171

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Offline (the 11/27/2014 at 10:15pm)

Jonah171

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9845
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jonah171 : I am Jonah.

Jonah171's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>StormKicker</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:21am<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 5:12pm<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:05pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:35pm<b>stupidityisme</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:02am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:39pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 6:58am<b>aherne</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:42am<b>PimpdaddyCJT</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:06pm<b>zsxwrsd</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:32pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:55am<b>ghiman</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:20am<b>SydneyGrey</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:34pm<b>joe502</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:48pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:48pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:22pm<b>admitmylife</b> - the 11/04/2012 at 12:45pm

Jonah171's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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Jonah171's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

by weddingblues / 05/30/2011 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

by AE86Turbo / 05/03/2011 at 1:22am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML

by notimpressed / 04/26/2011 at 3:25pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML

by fatcat117 / 04/21/2011 at 9:53pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

by :| / 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2011 at 6:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous