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Offline (the 11/27/2014 at 10:15pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10384
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jonah171 : I am Jonah.

Jonah171's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>StormKicker</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:21am<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 5:12pm<b>ScarredFlame</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:05pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:35pm<b>stupidityisme</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:02am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:39pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 6:58am<b>aherne</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:42am<b>PimpdaddyCJT</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:06pm<b>zsxwrsd</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:32pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 12:55am<b>ghiman</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:20am<b>SydneyGrey</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 1:34pm<b>joe502</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:48pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:48pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:22pm<b>admitmylife</b> - the 11/04/2012 at 12:45pm

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Jonah171's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

by alynna007 / 01/02/2013 at 5:31am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

by Weirdo / 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

by kmtranter / 12/28/2012 at 6:40am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Love

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 12:01am / Canada / Money

Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML

by igiveup / 12/20/2012 at 10:31pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

by Mandy93 / 12/20/2012 at 8:57am / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

by Bonding_boys / 12/17/2012 at 11:21am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

by theslutmuncher / 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm / Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt) / Miscellaneous