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About Jonah171 : I am Jonah.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (1515)
On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3865) - you deserved it (35135)
On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21999) - you deserved it (4242)
Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (5358)
On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I celebrated my birthday. When asked last week, I said I wanted a keyboard. When I opened the present, my parents went into hysterics. It was an electronic Dora the Explorer keyboard. I've been studying music composition and theory for six years. They think my major's a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23320) - you deserved it (3699)
On 11/24/2010 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23184) - you deserved it (1549)
Today, two months after moving up to Scotland to be with my fiancé, he broke up with me because he 'didn't love me anymore and hadn't for a long time.' Shame he didn't tell me that when he was saying 'I love you, I want to marry you', having sex with me, and using my savings for a deposit on a flat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21338) - you deserved it (2939)
On 11/03/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by shunned (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25823) - you deserved it (2266)
On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15019) - you deserved it (1950)
On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version
Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17342) - you deserved it (2564)
On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)
Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23908) - you deserved it (3417)
On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out that my "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (4506)
On 08/08/2010 at 3:38pm - love - by pixiegirl - United States
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24038) - you deserved it (2362)
On 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by pandaboo (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34958) - you deserved it (13741)
On 03/30/2010 at 12:04pm - love - by ballnchain (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4885) - you deserved it (40724)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
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