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Johnaldo's favorite FMLs
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
by maebyf / 08/31/2010 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 12:53am / United States / Intimacy
by Ashlee / 02/15/2010 at 10:21am / United States / Love
by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
by SoVeryMonday / 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by whatthef / 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy
by scarred / 10/22/2009 at 8:30am / Miscellaneous
Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML
by BobbyHutchinson / 10/20/2009 at 11:57am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/20/2009 at 6:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by dreamdude / 09/20/2009 at 9:21am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…