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Joey44's favorite FMLs
by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Evelyn / 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids
Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML
by fuuu. / 03/19/2012 at 8:39am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML
by PatientInWaiting / 03/19/2012 at 6:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Jacklyn / 03/18/2012 at 3:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by cachucy / 03/18/2012 at 11:04am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by vanorav / 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by CDeVeney92 / 03/17/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
by muzikmaler91 / 03/15/2012 at 5:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML
by solyana vr1 / 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML
by braceface / 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm / United States / Health
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 3:31pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by me / 03/14/2012 at 11:19am / United States (Florida) / Transportation