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Joey44's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
by fire1 / 10/25/2011 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Work
by number2 / 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Work
by Jessy / 10/14/2011 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids
Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by princesspuffypan / 10/05/2011 at 2:23am / South Africa / Love
by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML
by hihaay / 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm / United States / Transportation
by Help. / 09/29/2011 at 1:36pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull) / Miscellaneous
by Vxale / 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Hypocrisy / 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by toughbf / 09/27/2011 at 4:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…