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Joey44's favorite FMLs
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm / United States / Love
Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 6:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by jocksblow / 11/14/2011 at 8:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work
by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
by Agathus / 11/10/2011 at 9:35am / United Arab Emirates / Money
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by StaplerScared / 11/08/2011 at 9:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by lunarstrain / 11/08/2011 at 1:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by Dlord357 / 11/07/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I just found out that my little brother likes to peak through the crack of the bathroom door… Today, I woke up to my head being covered by a pissy diaper, a pile of pee not even an inch from my… Today I received a phone call for a reservation (I'm a B&B owner) for 12 firefighters (he said they…