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Joey44

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Joey44
  • Town/Country : London, United Kingdom
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5089
  • Number of comments : 138
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Joey44's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (3849)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

#18417405
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (8407)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

#18409313
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36277) - you deserved it (1726)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37675) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (7314)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27397) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

#18387801
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15636) - you deserved it (2057)

On 11/29/2011 at 8:53pm - misc - by Geraldine - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

#18378519
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20564) - you deserved it (4579)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by moopymoplady - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (1732)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (2129)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

#18323291
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (2244)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)



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