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JoeOchoa's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
JoeOchoa's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
by knowtoomuch / 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
by backseatbusted / 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Health
Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
by fuckingjesusgran / 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm / Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego) / Transportation
by hitchcock2013 / 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 8:48am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by serialkillingex / 05/07/2013 at 3:45am / Netherlands / Love
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
by Sirah90 / 05/07/2013 at 3:29am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 11:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML
by sobasics / 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm / United States / Work
by stretchy / 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Love
by Alone / 05/06/2013 at 10:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 4:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…