About JoeLouisBomber : Hola
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101210) - you deserved it (4585)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9110) - you deserved it (61104)
On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10644) - you deserved it (197101)
On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (357693)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (284754) - you deserved it (28917)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10499) - you deserved it (168114)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML
I agree, your life sucks (154082) - you deserved it (21843)
On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (123755) - you deserved it (4864)
On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43144) - you deserved it (492468)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43144) - you deserved it (492468)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58457) - you deserved it (40992)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whatdoyoudo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (116990) - you deserved it (4227)
On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12029) - you deserved it (56201)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (4151)
On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33359) - you deserved it (389026)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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