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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Jlevrt

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Jlevrt
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 547
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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Jlevrt's FML badges

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Jlevrt's favorite FMLs

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (19364) - you deserved it (7124)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (29211) - you deserved it (2025)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (5171)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

#9102050 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (15093) - you deserved it (2002)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

#9037172 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (18846) - you deserved it (1694)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:14am - love - by botharebad (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

#9024995 (397)

I agree, your life sucks (37419) - you deserved it (1280)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (16747) - you deserved it (39911)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of five years sent me a letter for my birthday. He'd forgotten to put a stamp on it so I had to pay to get it. There was a letter telling me he'd found someone else. I paid for my own break-up letter. FML

#3801128 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (39205) - you deserved it (2301)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

#2524291 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (7421) - you deserved it (41681)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:39am - animals - by xacked (man) - United States (California)