Jivesliven

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Offline (the 05/01/2016 at 1:05pm)

Jivesliven

2Fucked!

JiveslivenJivesliven
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5624
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Jivesliven's page activity

Visits<b>foxesntea</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 4:32pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:41pm<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:28pm<b>illmatic2</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 6:01am<b>Incroyalzz</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:39am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:03pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Raxy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:59am<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 4:00pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:59pm<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:42am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:55am<b>avarland</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 6:43am<b>thisgirl111111</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 3:58am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 3:19pm<b>chrisd007</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:10pm<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 7:09pm

Fucked!<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:32am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:23pm

Jivesliven's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Jivesliven's badges

Jivesliven's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how much of a nutter my mother really is as she decided to write on a high visibility vest a "warning" that all foreigners, especially refugees, want to rape German women. She now wants to wear it each and every day in our hometown. FML

by ashamed / 01/20/2016 at 2:00pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

by KittyKat / 11/03/2013 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

by me / 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

by DrugsRX / 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

by Marie / 10/17/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm / United States / Money

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm / United States / Money

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

by DamnTornadoAlley / 08/30/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous