Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jivesliven

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

Jivesliven

2Fucked!

JiveslivenJivesliven
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 July 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4848
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jivesliven's page activity

Visits<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:28pm<b>illmatic2</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 6:01am<b>Incroyalzz</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:39am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:03pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Raxy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:59am<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 4:00pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:59pm<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:42am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:55am<b>avarland</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 6:43am<b>thisgirl111111</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 3:58am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 3:19pm<b>chrisd007</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:10pm<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 7:09pm<b>IceMan11</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:13am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 10:32am

Fucked!<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:32am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:23pm

Jivesliven's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Jivesliven's badges

Jivesliven's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how much of a nutter my mother really is as she decided to write on a high visibility vest a "warning" that all foreigners, especially refugees, want to rape German women. She now wants to wear it each and every day in our hometown. FML

#21517384
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17490) - you deserved it (1499)

On 01/20/2016 at 2:00pm - misc - by ashamed - Germany

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53166) - you deserved it (6791)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63730) - you deserved it (8031)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (2104)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (3267)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26395) - you deserved it (4442)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26907) - you deserved it (3669)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

#20120587
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (4474)

On 10/17/2012 at 1:16am - love - by Marie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28772) - you deserved it (7261)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

#20120354
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25034) - you deserved it (1859)

On 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

#20120354
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25034) - you deserved it (1859)

On 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (6611)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (3717)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (2217)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36987) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: