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Jirekianu2's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 11:00am / South Africa / Kids
by LoveIsOneSided / 08/18/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, my girlfriend of five years broke up with me, saying I've changed and she can't be with someone who's so emotional all the time. Well I'm so sorry that after two weeks, I'm not quite over my brother's death yet. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 12:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
by YES I MEAN *EX* GIRLFRIEND / 08/17/2015 at 4:14pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML
by jarkleflob / 08/16/2015 at 1:49pm / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/16/2015 at 11:22am / United States / Work
by IceWrath / 08/16/2015 at 4:14am / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
by bruised / 08/15/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Florida) / Work
by RobotUnicorn1209 / 08/14/2015 at 3:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 6:57am / Ukraine (Donets'ka Oblast') / Transportation
Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
Today, my friends told me that I'm not invited to the next trip because I'm a party pooper for not getting drunk and staying out late during our last vacation. I guess they forgot that I spent each night taking care of their drunk asses and stayed sober to be the designated driver. FML
by canadiangirl98 / 08/10/2015 at 11:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside…